The Understanding Way Assessment
'Living According to Knowledge' — Discover your biblical pathway to strengthen what's strong or rebuild what's strained in your relationship.
INSTRUCTIONS
How To Use This
Grab a notebook. For each question below, choose the option that best describes you and your relationship: A, B, C, or D.
Tally your answers. Mostly A’s → Mostly B’s → Mostly C’s → Mostly D’s
When you finish, scroll to Your Results and click the pathway that matches your tally.
The Understanding Way - 10 Question Assessment
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When disagreements arise, what typically happens?
- A) Small issues escalate into big arguments or emotional chaos
- B) We avoid conflict and emotionally withdraw
- C) We each defend our position without really listening
- D) We handle conflict well and want to get even better at resolution
-
How would you describe your daily interactions?
- A) Intense — either really connected or really tense
- B) Polite but distant — like friendly roommates
- C) Competitive — we both focus on our own needs first
- D) We connect well daily and want to deepen our intimacy even more
-
When your partner shares something important, you typically:
- A) React emotionally based on how it affects you
- B) Listen politely but don't engage deeply
- C) Think immediately about your own perspective
- D) Listen well and want to get even better at understanding each other
-
How do you handle external stress?
- A) It spills into arguments or emotional reactions
- B) We retreat into our own worlds
- C) We compete for support instead of supporting each other
- D) We support each other well through stress and want to get even better
-
When making decisions together, you typically:
- A) Either fully agree or fight intensely
- B) Go along or decide independently to avoid friction
- C) Advocate strongly for your preference with little compromise
- D) Collaborate well and want to strengthen our teamwork even more
-
Your biggest challenge right now is:
- A) Too much conflict/emotional upheaval
- B) Feeling disconnected/distant
- C) Not working as a team on important things
- D) We're doing well and want to grow even stronger together
-
Thinking about intimacy:
- A) It's unpredictable — very high or tense
- B) We're physically present but emotionally distant
- C) We focus more on our own needs than mutual connection
- D) It's healthy and we want to keep growing in this area
-
When your partner is upset or hurt, you typically:
- A) Get defensive or emotional about their feelings
- B) Try to fix it quickly or wait it out
- C) Explain why they shouldn't feel that way / make it about you
- D) Comfort each other well and want to grow in emotional support
-
What you most want in your relationship:
- A) Peace, safety, and less conflict
- B) Real connection and meaningful conversations
- C) True partnership, teamwork, and shared goals
- D) To keep growing stronger and build an even more amazing marriage
-
If you're honest about your pattern:
- A) High highs and low lows — little steady middle
- B) Stable but lacking passion/intimacy
- C) Love each other but feel on different teams
- D) We have a strong foundation and want to build something incredible
Your Results
No email required. This is a value-first tool to help you start right now.